• What person or circumstance is upsetting me?  Be specific.
  • Acknowledge that you are blaming that person or situation for making you angry.
  • Write or speak out loud to yourself, “I blame ___________ for making me upset.
  • Understand that you are now in the role of a victim.
  • Write or speak that I am allowing myself to be a victim of ________________.
  • Differentiate clearly in your own mind whether you are:  1) Are truly being victimized?  2) Is it based on a perception based on a “story” or imagery in your mind?
  • Note how much more difficult it will be to process the anger if you have been truly victimized.

Obviously your chronic pain will be high on the list.  Do not let it get in the way of identifying the multitude of other ways you might be playing the role.  Anytime you are frustrated or angry you are in a victim role.  Take full responsibility.


Learn to do this exercise on a regular basis.  This is the most challenging part of my own journey.  I went through a phase of my journey where I felt I knew enough about being a victim that “I was above it.”  It was a very bad phase of my life.  What you are not aware of can and will control you.  I now am fully committed to acknowledging my victim role and using my tools. From reactive to creative