Perfectionism

posted in: Stage 2: Step 2 | 0

Perfection doesn’t exist in the human experience. The only vision of perfect I have seen is in nature and the design of the human body.  Well, almost perfect–the inevitability of death seems to be a design flaw. Still, a living, fully functioning organism is beyond wonder.

 

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But the human experience is not that. Not at all. Yet, many of us feel that perfection is the standard of success, which would mean that we’re all a bunch of failures.

If your mind is set on making itself and the rest of you perfect, you will suffer endless anxiety about not attaining the unattainable.  The gap between your image of perfection and your reality will determine your degree of unhappiness. Eventually you’ll become angry because you cannot attain it. We begin to put a lot of negative labels on ourselves for our “failures” in different endeavors. We use anger to somehow fill or cover up this gap between reality and perfection and then endlessly beat ourselves up.  We also use this energy to push ourselves even harder.

If you use the “genealogy” of anger as the template, perfectionism would look like this:

  • You or a situation  is “less than perfect”
  • Blame yourself or circumstance for being imperfect
  • Victim of “less than perfect”
  • Angry/frustrated

 

 

Perfectionism represents the ultimate self-flagellation.  It is insanity.

Let it go.

BF