Happily Ever After

My wife and I were at a wedding this weekend. The bride was the daughter of some of our closest friends. She and her new husband are a wonderful couple. The excitement and energy around supporting them in their new venture together was electric. Their commitment to each other was … Read More

Mirror Neurons and Your Family

It is becoming increasingly clear that chronic pain has a tremendous impact on your immediate family. One of the more direct ways is through mirror neurons. I frequently tell my patients that when you smile at a baby the reason the baby smiles back is not because the baby is … Read More

The Chronic Pain Marriage-Go-Round

I have long asked the spouses of my chronic pain patients to participate in the DOC project (“Direct your Own Care”—my step-by-step method that allows patients to take control of their treatment plan), along with their partners. One reason is that partners of chronic pain patients also experience suffering—they have … Read More

The Two Faces of Christmas

Louis Cozolino, in his exhaustive book The Neuroscience of Human Relationships, points out that that human consciousness developed through interacting with other humans. We all know that people seek connection with others and when deprived of it develop significant health problems. We will do almost anything to stay connected. It … Read More

Mirror Neurons—Family Healing

I always ask family members or close friends to fully engage in the DOC project. It is not just for support, which is important. People exert a direct neurological effect on each other’s brains. The brain contains mirror neurons, which are cells that fire in response to the observation of … Read More

Protect Your Family from Your Pain

Chronic pain is dangerous Chronic pain is dangerous. When you are trapped by anything in life, especially pain, you’ll become angry. When you’re angry, everything is completely about you and your efforts to escape. You can no longer see the needs of those around you, much less respond to them. … Read More

Pain = Anger = Abuse

I was raised in a chaotic household. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive. It was confusing for me to feel like I had a mother who would do anything for her family and then, within seconds, watch her unpredictably fly into a rage lasting several days. From a young child’s … Read More